Living and Authentic life

Monday, April 28, 2008

FINALS

Well people I am in the midst of finals....looking for all A's....well see, I am feeling good about this semseter, and only one to go and then HELLO bachelors degree and on to graduate school options. Overall it is taking some time to adjust, there certainly is more to do with monitoring a toddler and then feeding Taren and making sure he is ok, fitting in final papers and projects and studying for finals has been a little tough, but I knew it would most likely be this way, which is one of the reasons I wanted Taren here early, because at least I am recovered, really tired this week, but that is because on top of waking up a few times each night to feed Taren, I have been staying up late to study, not the best combo....but I have my hardest final tomorrow, then off to provo for a break to visit Bri and give her baby gifts, and then back to St. George for my last 2 finals on friday. Those ones are easier though...the hard one is tomorrow so once that is over 3/4 of the school stress and final stress will be OVER. I love being a mom and am so grateful for all the opportunities I have been given with mommyhood, school and life! I met a girl here in town who is a big softball player, she plays in a womens league and co-ed and is in the A leagues and I get to come and play with her....so excited, I have missed playing. Anyway here's to the good life...even though I am tired right now, I know I can catch up next week! :)

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Oh Thanks Goodness for MOMS......


Well my mom left today after sacrament meeting and I just have to say that there are no words to ever express to her how grateful I am that she spent two weeks with me. Taegyn was an adjustment and I felt like I was sore forever, because of his crazy birth, I only got my mom for 3 days....but with Taren I got her for 2 weeks, she would come over and get Taegyn up for me while I stayed in bed nursing Taren and getting a couple more hours of sleep, this by far was huge for me, to not have to get out of bed once Taegyn woke up, and sure enough there was breakfast for me every morning. She made meals for me and reminded me about taking naps and how important it is to rest and heal. She would take my fiesty 2 year old to be out and about with her so I could stay home and rest and get my homework done. She helped me with my paper and now it is awesome! She would watch both the boys so I could just have some quiet time to myself! Which every mom needs. She would clean up my kitchen, I rarely had to clean a dish when she was here, and take me out for a treat just for fun. We watched movies, talked about life and growing into the people we want to become and overall had such a blast together. She is the greatest Grandma ever, Taegyn was so excited to see her every morning and so excited to play with her. I am soooo lucky! Mom I will never be able to say thank you enough for all you have done for me, your compassion and kindness seems to have to no limits. I feel so blessed to have you as my mother and so blessed to consider you one of my dear friends. I am so glad that I have you and dad as grandparents to my boys...they are lucky to have you guys. I love that you will play and have fun with them and hold them and love them. You are a wonderful woman and I hope I can continue to be a great mom like you have been and like you continue to be. This blog is my tribute to you! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I love you so much!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Bri this one's for you......

Ok so I am so excited, it has been exactly 1 week since Taren came into this world, and I promised I would give myself a week before I weighed myself, I could already tell just by looking in the mirror I was bouncing back fast, and I still wanted to wait a week.....so here were pre-baby stats...I usually like weighing between 128-135...Less than that I start to look too skinny. I started my pregnancy with Taren at 135, throughout the pregnancy I tried to eat healthy but I was not super strict with myself, if I wanted something I ate it, if it was really sugarary or something that wasn't so great for me I still ate it, just not lots of it. I really was mellow with myself this time around. As far as exercise went I worked out at least 1 hour 5 days a week and towards the end was walking or doing the eliptical. I really tried to balance and not overkill on exercise which I have a tendancy to do when my body changes outside my control, I try to control it with exercise, which is ridiculous during pregnancy because your going to get bigger....so I really thought I was so much healthier about it this time around, no 3 hour workouts like I did with Taegyn...:) So I topped out at 175, yes folks...40 pounds! And the beautiful thing is even at the end I wasn't freaking out about it, I knew I would be fine after baby. Well surprises of all surprises...after weighing myself today I am at 150! In just 1 week I have dropped 25 lbs!!:) I am more than halfway back to pre-pregnancy weight and it has only been 1 week! I am thrilled and feel great and really feel like I am healing fast. Now lets talk post baby nutrition and exercise....so since Taren has been here I have not gone exercising much to Shad's relief, it helps having my mom here to remind me not to push it too soon. :) So other than walking around the house and the store a couple of times, I have not officially started or done any exercise and still have dropped 25 lbs....so it must be eating right?...Well I have focused on eating well (fruits, vegys, lean meats, grains....you know the good stuff) 80% of the time and 20% gives me room for the good "bad" stuff....and then there is NURSING, a moms best friend....that helps a ton! I plan on beginning to walk on monday, start slow doing 1-2 miles a day and then gradually adding more, the doctor said walk a lot but no strenuous exercise for 6 weeks...(yeah right I will probley start jogging at 4 weeks, lightly jogging people...:) Anyway my point of this blog...Bodies are meant to bounce back after babies, in fact, I believe if we stay relatively active and eat good for the most part they get even better than before because of all the great things nursing does....so anyway to all those prego ladies who sometimes worry or stress out about not getting back to normal...it will happen and I suspect to the few of those women who are ultra fit biker women....I bet those women bounce back lightening fast....more later:)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Brothers

so do you think they look like brothers?.....I do and they definentley have their own unique looks, I thought it would be fun to compare the two to see how much they looked like each other when they were born....:)


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Taren

Taren's Birth Story......:)

Ok here it is folks, how my wonderful baby boy came into this world.......so wednesday we had our weekly check-in appointment with our Dr. Lunt, he told me that I had progressed a lot from the week before, that my cervix had moved forward and that it was softer, he let me know that at this point and induction was something we could talk about since I was progressing so well, keep in mind my actual due date was not until April 16 the following wednesday. Shad and I had discussed already the pros and cons of inducing or not, some of the great pros were I would have more help and more time once my mom left because then we would hit 2 of Shads 6 days off instead of just one and he wouldn't have to take any paid time off. The other great part was having him long before finals so I could prepare and get ahead so that when they came they were not stressful, plus Shad would be off so he could watch the boys while I took them. The other thing I really liked is not being pregnant another week or two, and my whole family pretty much (except Kristy and Thomas and the girls...we missed you) was going to be there for the weekend and it was so great last time to have them there to help out and support me, I knew there wouldn't be another weekend where they could all come down....the cons were after reading and researching everything about inductions and epidurals I was hesitant to want to do it and just let him come naturally, and try to have a natural birth after all I had been reading about hypnobirthing, I had been having mild contractions and tightness all that week, so I knew he was coming soon, but Taegyn was a week late, so soon was so relative to me. So that wednesday we tenatively scheduled to be induced on Friday April 11, and knew we could always cancel it if we felt like we needed to do something else. Shad and I went home that day and prayed about it and talked about it extensively. I spent a lot of time that day to myself and feeling out what would be best for my body, for Taren and for our family. After much extensive pondering and thinking...Shad and I decided to have Taren on friday, we both felt really good about everything, I also had Dem work on me and that gave me some insight and feedback about where my body was at. So Friday they called us at 5:40am and told us to be there at 6:40 am, I hardly got any sleep, I was anxious. But I knew I needed sleep because I knew I was going to be having a baby the next day, it was a rough night and I still had mild contractions. My dad came over at 6am to be with Taegyn for the day, and my mom met us at the hospital, I asked if them if they started me on pitocin just to get me started and then take me off to see if I could continue labor on my own, I got to hear how they try and make it as gentle and natural as possible to simulate natural birth, they start you on a low dose 4ml and you get as high by the end as 20ml and that once they start you on pitocen they want to leave you on it till baby is here. So since I already was getting induced, I decided I would try then as much as possible to not get an epidural, I already had the IV and so I waited to see if I could breath and talk myself through the contractions. At first they were mild and no big deal I would say that they started me on the pitocen around 7:30 or 8am, and then we just chilled, I was at a tight 3 so I knew it would be some time before I started getting bigger contractions. I rested, my mom and Shad read books, Dem came and hung out and we chatted, by about 11ish am I started getting painful contractions, they checked me I was only at a 4, they were a few min apart, so I started really trying to breath and relax and just think of pressure and not pain, I knew that if I couldn't get myself to relax through the contractions that I would not be able to aleviate the pain I was feeling because tense=pain when the contractions come. Well after awhile I knew that I had not practiced the techniques enough, I had just not given myself enough time and I knew myself enough that I would not be able to be relaxed during "go time" so I made the decision to get the epidural, I let them know that I wanted one that just took the edge off and not completely numb me, I still wanted to be able to "feel" Taren being born so I could stay as engaged as possible, I got an epidural with Taegyn, but I don't remember it hurting like this one did, it sucked, and after I got it I fought with feelings of sadness, dissapointment, and discouragement thinking to myself this is not what I wanted to end up like, with IV's and another needle in my back. I only spent like 10 min there and then changed my thoughts and focused on the positive, it really helped and then my family came around noonish to eat yummy food in front of me, and bring my starving husband a sandwhich, it was nice to laugh and just relax, once I had the epidural and I was in a positive frame of mind I could feel the pressure build up and then release, but not the intense pain. It became nice to visulize my birth at this point and how I wanted it to go. Dr. Lunt came in to check me and I was only at a 4 1/2, he said this is usually the time that takes the longest and that once I was past a 5 things would speed up. Again I decided to relax and Shad took a nap while mom read. I checked my messages and even did a little bit of work, the nurse came in to check me but I was on the phone so she said she would come back, we all kept wondering around 1pm why nobody had checked me again, so we figured it was still going to take a lot of time and that I still was not much past a 5. So my sister and Dem decided to leave and get Dem's kids about the same time they left, Dr. Lunt came in and checked me and all of the sudden I was at a 9 1/2. I had been feeling back to back big contractions, but I was surprised, he looked at me and told me to push just a little and said I was ready to go if I wanted to, I wanted Dem there so my mom called her real quick, they turned around and as soon as she walked in the door it was go time. I pushed 4 times and his head came out and Dr. Lunt eased the rest of him out, Dem cut the cord and they immediately set him on my chest, I tore a little, so while he was stitching me up, they let me hold and bond with baby, they did all his vitals with him by me, so for the first little while we were able to bond instantly, while he finished stitching me up, the nurses and Shad went to do all the clean up stuff and they brought him back and told me to keep him skin to skin for awhile, soon after he began nursing and did it like a champ, no problems, the thing I like about this hospital and Dr. Lunt is that they do things like skin to skin and believe in the instant bond that mother and baby need so they did everything they could to facilitate us being together as much as possible as soon as he was born. We did not want to stay in the hospital overnight so I was in the birthing room for another hour with Taren and then they moved us, a lot of the nurses thought we were weird for wanting to go home, but I knew Taren was fine and I knew I would be more comfortable at home. So about 8pm we headed home with our newest addition to the family. What a blessing he has been! I love having him here and have so much joy. I am so glad I am not pregnant still and that everything went so smoothly. I am healing quickly and feeling great. Taren is truely such a unique and amazing spirit, when I do it all again I will give myself some more time to prepare for a more natural birth, I do believe it is possible, and I also think that Taren came for us at the right time. I love being a mom, he sleeps really well already and is so much fun to have around. Hopefully I can post a picture this time...:) ok picture still isn't working, I will figure it out soon though...you will see pictures of Taren soon...I promise! :) In the meantime enjoy the longest post ever....

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Here is Taren....

Well I was going to write about Taren's birth extensively but....I am tired and Taren is sleeping right now so I am going to post this short post and then do a bigger one later about his day of birth....:)In the meantime enjoy our newest addition to the family...he is soo cute! :)
ok the picture won't post, I will post some tomorrow...Dang computers....

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Ok this is it....


alright folks, this is the last pregnant picture I am going to post of myself before Taren gets here...so enjoy..:)I think I am going into labor soon, lots of activity has been happening these last few days...I also am 80% sure at this point to go natural with no epidural or pitocin, I also have heard some great things about birthing in the squatting position, it opens your pelvis up to 30% making it easier to birth the baby, I have read now a lot that being on your back is one of the worst positions...so I am up for trying new stuff, I don't think I have had enough time to learn all the hypnobirthing techniques, so I am not expecting a pain free birth neccisarily, but I am expecting that I can do this and that I can have a smooth easy 2nd birth with Taren, I do believe it will go much faster than Taegyn did, sooooo hopefully you'll see a picture of Taren on here soon.....very soon....:)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Really Neat Stuff

Well yesterday I had the privilige of saying goodbye to Mia, Jody's rottie that she has had for the last 8 years. Mia a year ago got cancer in her bones and inevitabley it has eventually spread through into her lungs, she woke up blind on saturday and Jody bless her heart made the decision to ease her suffering and put her to sleep today. As a goodbye gift and as a way to say thanks to all she has done for me, I brought Demeree over and had her work on Mia, for those of you who don't know Demeree she is my dear friend and like a sister, she is a gifted massage therapist and doesn't usually work on animals, but she did it for me and for Jody. Demeree is also very good at sensing the energy system of the body so it was really neat that Jody let me be in the room with her and Mia and Dem, I was able to see the love that those 2 had for each other and hear some pretty cool stuff, overall Mia was so grateful to Jody and there was an overwhelming sense that she has had a great life and a great companion in Jody. Dem let Jody know after feeling the disease in Mia's body that she was making the right decision, Mia was only going to get worse and more miserable, and that she was ready to let go. The timing in Jody's life I think is so amazing, she just got this great life changing job, is moving back to SLC, it has been hard for her to live in St. George and now she is returning to a city she loves to be in, I think Mia knew Jody needed her companionship while here in St. George and realizes that Jody with this new opportunity will be fine with out her. Both Jody and I commented on how ironic the timing of all this was. I know some of you might read this and be like, whatever its a dog....blah blah blah...but I know for a fact that the animals we bring into our lives and homes share our emotions as well as our lives, sure they do it on an animal level, but there is no question in my mind that animals sense, feel and see things that even we as humans can be closed to understanding. It was so cool to be a part of that wonderful experience for Mia and Jody, and Mia was so grateful for the massage, her body was hurting and she continually expressed thanks in her "doggy" way to Dem. I am so thankful to Jody, she has been a great friend and I see her tremendous potential and wish her the best in her new adventure. I am grateful to Dem, she has SO much on her plate right now, and still took the time to do that for me, even though I know she has a lot of other things to do right now. So overall I am feeling a sense of gratitude and happiness for those I care about and my prayers are with Jody on this day, it will be a rough day for her.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Made it through another round.....


(for above picture, just imagine this cart even more full, with a little boy trying to constantly grab stuff out of it!!)

Well I just made it through another round of tests, quizzes and assignments this week, and I still have all A's!! Yeah I am doing awesome, it is such a great feeling, doing that all with being a mom (full-time work mind you) unless he is sleeping or taking naps....which I find is when I try and get most of my work done and school assignments done, which is one of the reasons I go to bed so late, but the trade off and almost being done is soooo worth it, I also signed up for my summer classes....and then whala! I have my BA!!!!Yeah!! and a new baby!! What a great life!!!! it feels sooooo good to be almost done with this milestone in my life...:) so yeah good times. Add to the list of things I did well this week was send Jody off (our head field director and good friend at Entrada) off with a farewell party that I got all the stuff for. Mind you that was a funny scene, me with a packed full cart coming out of costco, Taegyn is pulling stuff out, things are sliding off, the cart is so heavy it is going where ever it wants to not where I want it to go...man that was a crazy day....and after 3 things fell off this guy says "wow you look like your having a hard time..." and then continues to walk...ya think mister? yeah why don't you help me...Let's just say I am glad that I am not a party planner for my job, I know some people really like doing that kind of stuff, but not me, I was so glad when it was all over, the party was nice and it was nice to say goodbye to a good friend and co-worker! So yeah for me for being super Jennie this week!! Oh and I just got back from a cute movie called Nim's Island, Jody Foster does SUCH A GOOD JOB acting like an agrophobe....I laughed a lot. Now I just can't wait for the new Indiana Jones, they should have done 5 more of those already....life is good, even though I am a little more tired than usual these days...now my baby just needs to be born...:)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Babio Update

well I just got back from my appointment, first off lets just say I hate getting checked, but I wanted to know where I was at, you know if my cervix was soft, was baby still head down, how far am I dialated....all that good stuff. So the crappy stuff first...when he checked me my cervix was behind Taren's head so he was having a hard time getting a good check, so he was like pulling it and hurt, I was like whoa what are you doing...he said he was trying to move the cervix forward...anyway that is the only crappy thing that happended today the rest is all good, my cervix is soft, baby is still head down and I am at a 3, now we need to wait until the cervix is moved forward more, so it looks like I am still another week away, I was hoping to have the baby on the 9th, but it looks like I am going to make it to another appointment where I get the oh so fun privlidge of getting checked again, so unless I go into labor before then, which knowing my body and based off how Taegyn went, (it took some time for my cervix to comply with him to) I will make it to next week without a baby, I am not saying I still couldn't have him anytime, I just have a hunch we got another week or 2...anyway so no induction on the 9th, which is most likely a blessing in disguise. I want my body to be ready, so like the affirmations cd that Bri gave me says....babies come on their birthdays not when doctors (or moms who want to conviently take advantage of their husbands days off, or not worry about finals and baby at the same time...) say they should. So I guess at this point it is up to Taren...now for the other decision...epidural or natural? still thinking about this one....anyway more later.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

fun pictures...



Here is a fun picture of my boy....